So this morning, the day after Nana left back to Saint Paul & I fell apart in John’s arms last night full of worry and doubt, I spent uninterrupted time with God!

I really took my time on all things: pouring out my heart into ten pages of journal, relaxing shower, meditating on children, considering carefully where my relationship was with God, what God was sharing to me  Jasper & Elani really need, putting it all down in a visual prose/poem on my beautiful rose paper and finally reading deeply and thirstily of I Kings 15 through 20 and all of Micah!

God is gorgeous and amazing, God is glorious and speaks through quiet whispers and shatters the heart through Old Testement revelations!  God I praise you for speaking tenderly to my  heart of patience, of helping me to see that patience is deeply rooted in prayer, in faith that Jesus personally cares for my feelings and in the living hope that Jesus IS and lives resurrected up in heaven!  Thank you so much God for reminding my heart that what you value is so different what the world values, the world values working and what we do and you value who we are.  We are made by you! You alone are the most valuable ever and since we are made by you – simple because we are – we have value.  Then when we choose to be redeemed by you, and by your son’s incredibly valuable blood – our value is the same of Christ – already! Before we have done any work!  So it is this knowledge that we start out valuable which enables our hearts to serve and walk humbly and act justly and love mercy not because we have to but because we have been given value already.  So that when we are hurting or sick or in prison or having trouble or giving way to weakness, our value doesn’t diminish, instead God rushes to our side  – a healer, a protector, a defender, a father who deeply values us at every moment of our feelings, our experiences & our soulful moments!  What a joy to know this!  What freedom comes from this thought ! And our hearts then desire to see others as always this valuable no matter how they help us or they don’t!  Even if they do not see themselves as valuable – we know they are – not for what they do but just because they have been created by God! And with love and encouragement they have a chance to believe and be reborn and become right with God too!

Reading Micah really shook my heart up when I realized that the people who didn’t listen to him then are the same type who didn’t listen to Jesus. And even in Micah’s time, those that really loved God wouldn’t have sneered at Micah because they would have considered the source of Micah’s words – God himself and with faith and loving heart would have been cut to the heart and repent of the sins(namely not loving others or keeping God alone as God!).  So it is the source of the prophet that is key when listening and this is especially true of Jesus.

We should be listening since he speaks the actual voice of God, but even more so as he is the only messenger to also be the actual only SON OF GOD, therefore his particular message in Hebrews should capture our entire attention and we should listen with our whole bodies to make them holy!

Hebrews shares how Jesus alone is God’s son and special messenger and that he is NOT ashamed of God as he sings to us, his brothers and sisters. Hearing this makes my heart focus in one thought alone – It is ALL about Jesus!  Am I walking humbly with Jesus?  It doesn’t matter how Jesus chooses to speak with me and who he works through and whether they perfectly “get me”.  My heart is revealed by whether I realize and desire and seek first Jesus to walk humbly with or whether I am just doing a few things here and there!   Desiring Jesus for who he is and walking with humility next to the one that shed his blood for me even as he created the stars – this is the joy of my heart now and with help of his Spirit – forever more.

Thanks be to Jesus, who in the midst of my ignorance, my lack of appreciation and my emotions that threaten the preciousness of himself, for his love and grace that pulls me from the box of doubt, drops me in hot water of grace and my teabag of life is steeped with his love through my whole being until I am soppy, wet and infused from within.

Jesus  – thanks for being my listener friend, my truthtelling mentor, my spiritual savior and my Lord – help me today to have the hope of being as patient as you are in spirit according  to your Father’s will and thanks for letting me walk with you today.  Please help my heart to be humble and to enjoy learning from you since it is all about you! – That is indeed the heart of worship=)  Thank you for the hope of being patient with John, with Jasper, with Elani & with myself, please bless this day and may everyone everywhere be brought to a peace in you and find rest for their hearts to heal.

Love you, Laryssa